Monday, April 30, 2007
Monday, August 07, 2006
I started treatment - ordered to do so immediately or start hunting for a new liver.
I'm taking pegasys and copegus - which has some very nasty side effects. Mostly the lack of energy that even a cup of coffee and 40 pounds of caffiene couldn't phase.
A little naseauated and the worst is the shivers. You get cold all of a sudden - for no reason and then you sweat in mass rivulets. Oh joy. LOL!
I won't be posting much in the next month until I get used to this treatment. But everyonce in awhile I do surf to your pages and visit you. I just don't have the energy right now inbetween the kid, hubby, treatment, work to type much. Clicking the mouse kind of expends it.
Strange - 8 weeks ago, life was abundant of energy and I could stay up 24 hours plus without any problem. Now I'm lucky if I can do 10 hours straight.
But the good news is that I know I'm going to kick this idiotic virus. And that's all that matters in my life right now. I want to see my kid graduate. And I don't want anyone else's liver, if I can help it.
Nothing personal - just... I dunno - I think there's someone out there who might need it more than me or something weird like that.
Vampire Kitty Cat - please keep writing.
Savvy - love you hon - you know you're awesome - always will be.
B - girl - you think so much... and it's cool.
Tanya - sweetie pie - much miss you too.
Jeff - Oooh sometimes I just want to pinch your cheeks.
Mark - you're amazing with all the work you do.
Karl - you're forever my angel.
Heather - rock on girl.
And everyone else - you're just awesome and thank you!
Friday, July 07, 2006
Wednesday I go down for treatment, biopsy, etc. So I probably won't post until I get back on or around the 17th. (Until then, I'll be just freaking out and trying to get the insurance in order, etc.)
Thank you all for your heartfelt words and best wishes. I'll take all of those to the bank to make me feel better. They've given me smiles - and that's just superb.
Hugs to each of you.
LMAO - at Heather - no wipes. Too funny.
You're all very special people and I'm glad to know you.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
There's no easy way to just up and tell folks what happens in your life - but life can and does change overnight.
Sit down and grab a cup of coffee....
Somewhere around our lice catastrophe and and my daughter breaking her arm, I started getting pretty fatigued. I started having problems remembering things. Not like what car keys are - but when did I last have them, oh... they're in my hands. Or what was I talking about... or what did you ask me to do? (I'm sure this one annoyed my boss... LMAO!)
Anyhow - Of course - me, feeling like I've been a hypochondriac all my life... I've always had aches and pains... felt icky and a little under the weather... I chalked it all up to getting older and being a parent - and being married. LOL!
But when I couldn't remember a task someone told me to do only 5 minutes before, I started getting a little worried. And then, my cartilage in my ribcage felt like it was separating and there was a horrible pain under my ribs in the back.
Me - I figure I've got diabetes. So I go in for the tests....
Noooooo... Not diabetes. Not cancer. Not you're nuts go home...
The last thing I expected - Hepatitis C. In advanced cirhosis stage.
Like how the "F" did I get Hep C? (OK - I'm NOT a virgin... but I've always practiced safe sex - and my hubby - well he's been a pretty safe guy too. I HATE needles - and never really thought drugs were anything to mess with. Did I mention I HATE needles? Oh... Cause I couldn't remember. I was an EMT - but I never had a needle stick that I can remember - no openly bleeding people with me having unprotected cuts or wounds - nor did I remember anyone having any blood get into my eyes or mouth, etc.) AND - because I was an EMT - I was clear of all HEP viruses in 1991.
Turns out I've had 2 shots of Rhogam in my life and 2 surgeries. (Rhogam is a blood gamma globulin - used in women who are RH negative, with an RH positive father of the baby - so the woman's body doesn't miscarry the baby.) I had the Rhogam while I was pregnant with my daughter - who will be 10.
So - this was dropped in my lap... And while it was dropped in my lap - the internet server was out - for almost 3 weeks. They had to relay cable here to my house because the line goes under out pond which was frozen at the time. I live on the smallest community on an island in Alaska. Sigh - no information was available - I thought I was going to die or was dying right then...
Pass the XANAX - oh boy...
Unless of course you want a screaming, incoherent babbling woman - who has no idea what the *F* all this is...
So here I am thinking I'm going to die any day - LOL - ok - maybe in a few years - and no way to find out more information.
I'm one of the first people - clinically diagnosed with Hep C in our Community - so the doctors had no clue. I was poked from one end to the other ---- DID I MENTION I HATE NEEDLES?
So looking like a pin cushion we learn we have to find out what my viral load is - and what genotype... Of course the doctors didn't know we needed to find this information out...
And at the time, they didn't have the concept of all the things we were supposed to be looking for - etc. All fun... To be sure.
I got poked some more - while I'm having a practical breakdown - freaking out - afraid to touch anyone cause I might give it to them - and terrified that I'd passed it on to my kid.
I have to figure out who else I may have passed it on to ----- I'm panicked - yeah - let's just say the XANAX is a wonderful thing. A very wonderful thing. I've never had panic attacks before - and now I have - so my sincere sympathies to anyone who has ever had one!
Turns out - HEP C is not "THAT" contagious... It's pretty much a blood to blood issue - Not caught by hugs - or kisses - probably not even sex unless both people have openly bleeding cuts... Can't get it from toilet seats, showers, chairs, tables, other bodily fluids unless they contain blood --- but I didn't know that then - MORE XANAX please.
So - now we've narrowed it down to three possibles of how I got it - I've gotten much more information. I go in for a second biopsy on my liver - on July 13.
I have to fly out of here to do it. I'll be going on a treatment called PegInterferon/Ribivarin.
The forgetfulness was caused by an ammonia buildup because my liver wasn't processing it properly - and it was making me an absolute basket case on memory loss. It was one of the freakiest things I've ever seen happen to me.
The first couple of weeks - I was panicked - the third week I was kind of depressed - and then after we found out that my husband and daughter were completely clear of the virus - Everything started getting a little better.
The stuff they gave me to clear out the ammonia (lactu something make you pooo and vomit for hours and days) was icky...
But other than that - We just need to find out how bad it is - and if we can knock the virus down.
Which - THEN --- the GOOD news ---- We found my genotype was 3a... (Which is UNUSUAL in the US) However - has a 60 -70% clearance rate using the interferon/ribivarin.
They currently think the cirrhosis (I thought this was something only people who drank a lot of alcohol got... ha ha.... Ya learn something new every day....) is in middle stage - but with the next biopsy we will know for certain...
So ----- Now you know why I haven't been here- or much of anywhere. I'm sooooo very sorry for not talking. I wasn't mentally prepared for it and I was just totally exhausted just trying to be a mom and go to work. Thank GOD the hubby cleans. LOL!
To me - Hep C - well it was something Druggies and Prostitutes got...
Boy - was I wrong.
And now - I'm learning that it isn't even all that bad - Yeah, I'm sick right now - but chances are I will be getting better in the next 6 months.
I also have learned that if you tell people - which I plan to do... I don't think it is something I should be ashamed of... You have to tell them how they can and can not get it - with paper work from the CDC or something - because their first question is:
HOW did you get it? (Of course, as they back away slowly away, holding their breath and imagining the cooties jumping from me to them... )
It kind of hurt my feelings - but I had to laugh... When I told the girls at work - The next day - there were about 10 cannisters of Clorox Wipes Antibacterial in the bathroom and near the keyboards and phones... (First - those things don't kill the virus... sorry to disillusion you. Second - Hep C is NOT that contagious.... Sigh.... ) So instead of getting pissed off - I just didn't say anything - see - cause the way I see it - They are protecting me from their germs - because my immunities are down - LMAO!)
So needless to say - Yeah - I've neglected blogging - I've neglected a lot of things - Damn, I've got to clean my house - and right now there isn't enough coffee to feed me intravenously to give me the energy to move around.
I will be a little more active shortly and in a few minutes - I will post 2 covers I did the day before my life fell apart.
I'm picking up the pieces - so thanks for listening.
And know - I'm keeping my sense of humor - I'm a little freaked out still - but a lot better than last week - and a few weeks ago.
I've got a great family - and I've found the information I've needed for the things I'm supposed to expect and how to deal with this. My posting will return to more normal shortly - and I'll start doing covers again - for folks - because I LOVE doing them.
I just haven't been in the mental or physical state to talk about it- or even to get online to be sociable - or human.
Oh - pass the Xanax please. LOL!
I love you guys- and all of your emails --- I just got done going though about 800 emails and over 70 of them were from you guys - your made me smile and gave me tears - because you thought enough to care.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Lots of detail and hard work. Not to mention - she's an artist.
The Woman in the picture ---- Denyse drew herself. I just cleaned up the outer edges and gave it some depth/transparency. So truly - She did the hard work - I just arranged it on a background. *G*
http://www.alden.nu is her website about this - but she has so many for awhile there, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to make it on. I made a few covers before I was happy with this one.
I think she'll like it!
Have a splendid day all - and yes - I've got more covers coming - but I'm low on time - so please know that they will be on the way fairly soon.
The connection ISP went down for 2 full days and was intermittent for 3 - they figured out that the cable that goes to our house froze under the pond in our front yard area and when it would freeze, it would shut off the cable. LMAO! So we had weather dependent cable - TV signal was fine... but the internet part wouldn't work - or it would work for a few moments and then nada.
That and the next door neighbor has a big Dodge and ran over the box. So we were broadsided. I could get a comment in if I could get it up - but only for a few moments. Ugggh.
Then my sweet petunia broke her wrist in 2 places which made us run from doctor to doctor trying to figure out if we had to fly off island to get an Orthopedic Surgeon because it cracked up into the growth plate. About a grand worth of visits and a grand worth of X-rays, and they full length casted her yesterday. Wooohoo! She went with light blue - and her classmates have already decorated it with 4th grade scrawlings. LOL! In 3 weeks they'll make another thousand dollars worth of decisions on whether she'll need surgery but for now, we're in the clear of having to fly outta here. (sigh).
Now she's "Your Highness".
"Mom, could you scratch my nose?" "Mom, could you get me a glass of water?" "Mom, could you write my homework for me?" "Mom could you change the channel?" "Mom could you zip my pants?" Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. *G*
Other than that the dog decided to go into shed mode.
This would be ok if we didn't have burgundy carpet - and she wasn't a light haired German Shepherd. We now have a beautiful light pink furry carpet that has to be cleaned 3 or 4 times a day from end to end. Part of me says - dog stays outside... the other part says she's part of the family and that's just life. LOL!
So - there - in a nutshell - ya have my life... Can we trade for a day? I'm sure your life is much more interesting.
Now on to Domy's cover. I think she'll like it. See ya on the next post.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
And to top this lovely day off - LOL! My daughter went rollerskating and fractured her wrist in 2 places.
What a weekend - eh?
Hugs off to everyone - I'm not ignoring you - I promise!
Saturday, April 22, 2006
This little Blog of Mine talks about life - as we know it. Poetry, memoirs and more. If you get a chance, go visit this very mild mannered guy - and I hope that this totally original cover makes him smile.
Please don't laugh at my inept artwork - LMAO! It really is a BLUE MOON (his design logo name) made into a flower... I tried - no peanuts thrown at me - alright? :P
Take it away Larry!
I'm waiting on an answer from Mark and from Domynoe - (Mark - what do you want it on... The blog - or something spectacular that you're writing? Ya know - I could do one just on your awesome chaps... LMAO! Domy --- I want more info on Arden. I sent an email. I think I could have a blast on that. Jeanette - OOooh Baby - just looking for the right images... )
I learned a lot more on how to manipulate some of this program - and I put that learning to use in making this cover. Doing People on covers is not easy. Especially if you're trying for period costume dressing... So like all of the other covers - I took liberties with the author's descriptions and ideas - and implemented my own.
I thought about the story line - and what I imagined would be a "scene" set up out of it. What would happen if... And how does.... And where.... And that is how I came about making this particular cover.
Egads - while I know the people and costumes aren't perfect - I wish that I had a gaggle of props and images and models now - this is so much fun - I feel limited by the few things that I have... And like every woman in the world - LMAO! I want MORE!!!!
And now I invite you to ROMANCE DIVA's New Mock Cover:
Domynoe, BlueMoon, Mark and Jeanette are the next in line for book covers. Hugs to everyone.