Thursday, February 23, 2006

Nyquil should come in Chocolate Flavors...

It's true.

Honest, it is.

Nyquil should come in Chocolate... or Chocolate Raspberry... or Vanilla swirled Chocolate.

Instead it has a nasty mint flavor that leaves a hideous "liquorish" (intentional) taste and feeling in your mouth...

And then... just when you think you've gotten through the worst of it - your stomach is on fire!!!! Dear Heaven what have you done to deserve this awful fate?

As if you're not already feeling puny enough.

Breathe! You tell yourself it will pass. You lie there writhing in agony as you wait and then it's gone... as if it never was.

At least if it was in CHOCOLATE flavors, you'd be able to snarf it down and get something out of the deal... You'd get rid of that Chocolate *yum* craving that you've had all week, but couldn't taste the candy bars, so why bother?

I'm a genius. What can I say? Half the women of the world would thank Nyquil makers if they just thought about what real women wanted half of their lives: Chocolate.

The other half, we split it up between: Guys, books, entertainment, work, children, exciting things, cooking, going out, our girlfriends, animals, gardening, internet, writing, singing, playing, school, gym, cleaning, sleeping and so on...

But half of our life is consumed by Chocolate.

In fact, Chocolate is so good, that I think I will forevermore CAPITALIZE the first letter in the word Chocolate. It has become a life force - it is living! It is YUM! It deserves that capital "C".


Did I just let the cat out of the bag?


Well - if you're a guy and you're reading this, I'm throwing my super mega mind eraser on you about what you just read.

When you leave this page, you won't remember a thing about Chocolate... Except if you have a girlfriend, wife, sister, mother, friend who is a girl, co-worker"ette", neighbor who is a girl - or if you just see a girl walking down the street... You will get this overwhelming urge to buy them all Chocolate.

It's a secret.

So shhhhhhh.